A Silver Spring neighborhood near the notorious “Intersection of Death” has been plagued with two simultaneous problems. First, a rash of car break-ins and thefts convinced some residents of the need to start a “bait car” program to catch the thieves. Second, a giant “monster bus” parked on a residential street has blocked out the sun for years. So the clever residents put together two problems and came up with one solution.
“We talked to the monster bus owner and transformed it into a bait bus,” explained Neighborhood Watch Chairman Oscar Sodani. “We hung up some zirconium necklaces in the windows and the thieves go right in.” The bait bus is equipped with a door that opens only from the outside and locks immediately after entry.
The sheer number of thieves entering the bus has taxed the resources of the police, who can only pick them up every few days. But the residents keep the bait bus stocked with food and beverages for its “guests.” Even the thieves seem to approve. One thief said, “I like the camaraderie. Just over the last two days, I saw Mickey, Bozo, Shifty... those are great guys. I haven’t seen them since reform school!” Another thief raved, “The bus is so gigantic that no matter how many people come in, it never feels crowded. It’s very tastefully appointed. And the food is great!”
As the police arrived to load the suspects into squad cars, a handcuffed thief seemed remorseful – but not about stealing cars. “I wish I could stay in the bus awhile longer,” he sighed. “It’s a lot nicer in there than in jail!”
Acknowledgement: This post originated from a joke by Paul Gordon.
Friday, August 22, 2008
Car Thieves Captured by Silver Spring “Bait Bus”
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
Ban the Monster Trucks!
I had one reaction when I heard about County Council Member Mike Knapp’s new bill prohibiting large trucks from parking in residential neighborhoods: it’s about time! Just look below to see why.
This fearsome charter bus has been the source of much conflict in my neighborhood. Yes, this is the same neighborhood mentioned in the Post article, but since I live here and they do not, I have the pictures! The above monster bus is owned and parked by a resident on the street outside of his single-family home. It is a giant monolith that dominates the block. The woman across the street keeps the curtains in her living room shut because if she opened them, this would be her view – her only view. But for all the wars fought by the neighbors to eject the lumbering mastodon, they have been stymied by one fact – it is perfectly legal under current law for the owner to park it where it is.
Want more? For years, a boat was parked in the street only two blocks away from the above monster bus. The boat was left there for so long that it sank into the asphalt. Lord only knows what it took to get it out.
One reason why many of these vehicles are parked in neighborhoods is that their owners are running businesses out of their homes. That’s legitimate so long as the business use does not infringe on the residential character of the neighborhood. (The Montgomery County Board of Appeals regulates business locations in residential areas through its issuance of special exceptions.) But some types of businesses, especially ones engaged in heavy industrial activities, simply do not belong in residential neighborhoods.
My own industry, construction, is an example. Many contractors operate their record-keeping operations out of their houses. So far, so good. But when they park heavy vehicles on residential streets and use their backyards as material storage sites, that’s an issue. They may protest that compelling them to use commercial parking is an unreasonable business expense. But their competitors can and do maintain commercial lots, sheds and storage facilities and pay for them through overhead markups on their bids. By using neighborhoods as industrial parking lots, some contractors are gaining an unfair cost advantage over their competitors at the expense of their residential neighbors. Mike Knapp’s bill would put a stop to it.
There should not be a civic association in the county that should not favor this bill. So go ahead and write the council! As for me, I am going to tell the poor lady on the back end of the above monster bus that she may someday be able to see the sun again.
