Friday, August 22, 2008

Car Thieves Captured by Silver Spring “Bait Bus”

A Silver Spring neighborhood near the notorious “Intersection of Death” has been plagued with two simultaneous problems. First, a rash of car break-ins and thefts convinced some residents of the need to start a “bait car” program to catch the thieves. Second, a giant “monster bus” parked on a residential street has blocked out the sun for years. So the clever residents put together two problems and came up with one solution.

“We talked to the monster bus owner and transformed it into a bait bus,” explained Neighborhood Watch Chairman Oscar Sodani. “We hung up some zirconium necklaces in the windows and the thieves go right in.” The bait bus is equipped with a door that opens only from the outside and locks immediately after entry.


The sheer number of thieves entering the bus has taxed the resources of the police, who can only pick them up every few days. But the residents keep the bait bus stocked with food and beverages for its “guests.” Even the thieves seem to approve. One thief said, “I like the camaraderie. Just over the last two days, I saw Mickey, Bozo, Shifty... those are great guys. I haven’t seen them since reform school!” Another thief raved, “The bus is so gigantic that no matter how many people come in, it never feels crowded. It’s very tastefully appointed. And the food is great!”

As the police arrived to load the suspects into squad cars, a handcuffed thief seemed remorseful – but not about stealing cars. “I wish I could stay in the bus awhile longer,” he sighed. “It’s a lot nicer in there than in jail!”

Acknowledgement: This post originated from a joke by Paul Gordon.